chance

How man chances should you give someone until they get it right? Should it be one two three four five I mean damn how many times does it take. If i give you only one time to get it right am I wrong for not doing that. I mean I just gave you two and u still havent learned. But I know I am wrong for continuing to except that fact that we make plans and you cancel at the last minute when i could have done something betta. Yeah i said betta cuse u play this game of up and down side to side and I am getting tired of it. And you wonder why i wont date u or be your 1 cuse of this. Yeah u say we just friends well the friends i have would never cancel on me at the last minute. Your reason was not valet cuse u knew up til yesterday what was so called good. I have given u 3 chances to get it right and u still do the same. So 2008 is coming and i wont be giving u anymore chances. New year new things and new chances but none for u.

Loser

Why do i attract losers? It is like they flock my way. And when I dismiss them they get mad. Why the hell would anyone want to be with a loser. I bet you wonder what do i consider a loser. We have all had them in our lives. In other words LEACHES. It seems like 99% of the brothas in dc are either losers leaches or both. I wish I could see the L's on there foreheads b4 I get close. But as usual I dont see them until it is to late. And by then I am pissed off with myself for not realizing it. Well I think I realize that is why i put them at bay when they come at me with there foolishness. Asking for money come on i am selfish with my money. I aint giving u shit unless your name is sha lisa rob kevin john marquis london carlos or brandon. The rest of these bums out here can go kick rocks. I dont understand why dudes meet u and think they gonna get something for free come one know duh. Everyone has a price and mine is u aint getting shit. How do u think I wouldnt know your game come on i am 37 wise beyond my years and game knows game. I am not desperate to deal with these leaches i met to just say yes. I know there are some guppies in the world but guess what i am not one of them. So for all you dudes who think you can run game on me come again.

what should i do

I have this dude who I am cool with. I would say we are some what friends. Well we have been talking and chillin since spring time. He is very attractive kat. Some what my type. He has that masculine tall top swagger going on. He recently told me that he likes me and wants to kick it with me. I am so lost on what to do. Part of me says give him a chance and the other part says no just stay his friend. I had a list of pros and cons and they both weigh the same. God i am so attracted to him and he is just soft as pie sometimes. We are suppose to go out on friday night and see sup on this level. I just have all these expectations; bad things of course of things that could possible go wrong. I know i should think positive about the situation but things like this never seem to work out the way i want them to. Yeah i am making it all about me cuse yes part of it should. I have all these walls up that he says i should just let go and take down. But dealing with folks around here sometimes u have to put them up. He keeps telling me he wont hurt me but i just be like aight or un huh. He was dating someone for about a couple of months there and he kept pressing to be with me. He would say yeah i like him but it is u i want to be with. I would be like yeah right and play with him and he would get so mad at me. We are going on a date on friday. Just to see how it goes. I am gonna try to keep an open mind about this like he wants me to. But who knows. I'll keep ya updated.

my weekend pt 3

I have this friend and he was having an xmas party on sunday so he invited me. I asked him if he needed any help setting up that is what a cool friend is suppose to do. He said yeah. So i got fresh as always. Looking the part of thug model. I decided to go and chill out at his spot. He his is tight 4 level house in the brookland area. VEry well put together. Him and his lover live there been going on 4 years now. Both of them are very cool.

Well folks started getting there around 830 or so. I was downstairs watching the deadskins beating the viking. Man i hope they dont get a superbowl shot but if they do they have to come our way and they wont win, But anyways. I had a really good time. I meet a couple of cool dudes. I had so many dudes try to holla at me it was funny. But as always none of them were my type. Alot of drawfs in the spot. lol and u know how i feel about that. NO shorties and no bottoms. Man i wish there was a way i dude could figure out that i am bottom. Or at least vers. Shit i have my top moments. lol But i had more bottoms fem dudes and white dudes try to holla at me. None of the above is my type. But as the night went on I was so smoked out. My boy came in the room and was like here he gave me a bag of weed and said roll it up. I rolled about 4 js while in the room. Dudes was coming in and i was chillin in the corner taking it all in. Yeah they were like why u so quiet i was like cuse i have nuffin to say. When i am in a new spot or there is a crowd of folks that i dont know i get in my zone and become this watcher. I observe everything that is going on. I just chill out. While in that room dudes was trying there best to get at me and none of them came close. Everyone kept asking me if i had a man and why i was single what kind of things i like doing. All the things that every dude ask me that i never give an answer to only if i am interested. So like i said b4 no one had a chance. That whole night i just chilled and stayed to myself. He told me after the fact that i could bring anyone. But sometimes i do my best work by myself. Well the party ended at about 2. My boy told me i could stay but i left and went home. I decided to walk home and it gave me a time to think. I am about 30 min walk from his house to mine. Right across new york ave.

On my way home. I was thinking. U know another year with out someone to chill with. Out of everything all I really want is a chill partna. Someone who i can be friends with chill with go places with and if the time is right we get down like that and maybe become more. But finding is so hard now a days especially around here. We all have our agendas even i do but dudes are so disrepectful and hurtful around here. I have been thinking of relocating to a new state. I have been reaching out to god for that to show me where to relocate to.

But i got home took off my clothes and relaxed on my couch til i feel asleep. Man what a weekend.

my weekend pt 2

Well saturday came and I told one of my best friends that i was gonna help him move into his new spot. Plus I got some benefits out of it. He was getting rid of his furniture so he gave it to me. I am so thankful for him. He not only gave me the furniture. Well i am giving him money for it. But that is cool and at a really good baragin. But anyways. He also gave me so much food. I was just about to go grocey shopping and I end up doing that at his spot. I really like his condo it is hot. 2br open lay out and a huge kitchen. Perfect spot for a newlywed couple. But i also met his future " roommate" lol well J was very polite and i liked his new spot. It is house and a really great area of laurel. I have visited the area he is in now just cant remember how. I am so proud of my dawg right now. He has a plan laid out and is going for everything that he wants. Well after helping him out and his father bring me my furniture and stuff ( Thanks sir i appriecate that) I came home and went to sleep. I was knocked out til the next day.

Thank Los for all that you have done for me I really appriecate it.

my weekend pt 1

I have been talking to dude online for a minute. He seem real cool so we exchanged numbers. We were texting back and forth. That seems to be new thing on cell phones. So he asked me out on friday for dinner. Now this is the first time me meeting this kat face to face. So i put on my hood preppy out fit and my fresh sneaks on and went down to gallery place to meet him. We decided to go out to dinner to this resturant called the Matchbox 20. It is one hot resturant. Very over crowded but cool atomsphere. Well we had to wait for a table so we decided to go to starbucks and get coffee. I dont like to sit in starbucks i rather get my starbucks and walk around. So we walked around gallery place and just talked. He is a very nice and cool dude but not my type. He is gonna be a cool friend i can talk to. But I wouldnt date him. Dinner was cool and all. There brick oven pizza is hot. I really liked it alot. I would go there again. Once we got done we went walking round dc. Well we were just chillin and this dude tried to holla at me on the sly while i was this kat. I dont like stuff like that especially if u are on a so called date with someone. And i dont like dudes to psst at me and or scream at me from far away. It is all about your game and how u come at me. And i dont want u coming at me like no bitch either. I like dudes who come at me like a man should come at another man. WITH RESPECT!!! So I just carried on and the kat i was with asked me if i knew him. I was like nah. And he also noticed the other dudes trying to get me while i was with him. But they all did it on sly. That has never happen to me. When I go out with other dudes; dudes stay away from me. Like when i go out with homie brandon everyone thinks we are a couple especially when we step into rnr.

Well he wanted to go to the movies and i just wanted to go home and rest since i was up at 5 in the morning and at work all day. So I left him and went home and chilled out til the next day. He is a very nice guy just not my type of dude to date. First of all he is a bottom what we gonna do together. Nuffin but be friends. Second of all i have a height restriction. I am not into shorty dudes. Alot of tall brothas like short dudes well not this one. U must be 6 feet or tall to even think about me getting your attention o nthe dating level. And u must be masculine. That is requirement. Meaning if we walking down the street i dont want the dudes looking at both of us thinking fags. And that is hard to find in the dc area. But other than that I am flexible, in more ways than one. lol

Dear Mom

If u were only here to see me now. I miss you so much. I have so much on mind that I havent told anyone in 4 years. After you left life just hasnt been the same. I have no one to tell all my darkest secrets to. No one to tell all my problems to, no one to give me mom advice. Why did you have to leave? I wanted you to fight to live so you can see how much I have grown, but now all i have is all this hate in my heart lately. I look up at the sky and cry and hoping u can see all the tears that i flooded my soul with. Not a second goes by that I dont thik about you. If u were here right now I would tell you all on my mind all the things that I am so afraid to tell anyone else. U know I have trust issues and I u were the only person I trusted. I always knew that u would never tell anyone the things that i would tell you.

U know I am still single mom and you told me i would be but to hold on cuse someone is gonna come your way. U always told me to hold my head up high but days like this it is so hard with out u here. My job is fustrating, my love life sucks, and all my thoughts are so build up in my mind that they now have spilled over to my heart. That is about filled up now it is running into my soul. Who can i talk to about all the things i have going on. When you left you should have given me someone to trust. I am sitting here crying now as I write you this letter. I dont know how much longer I can hide my identity til I burst.

Sha is doing fine, I know u always told me i can talk to her about anything but i dont want to put the weight of my thoughts on to her. I need you here with me. I know i am being selfish cuse god needs angels, but u were my angel that god took away. U know there are so many days that I dont want to get out bed. I hold this smile on my face that is only a facade. If i could show my true self then i wouldnt be in control anymore and u know how i like to be in control of self. I think would have been betta if i had someone to lean on someone i could trust someone who was understanding the way u were. I didnt even get a chance to tell you good bye or see you lata. U never gave me that chance. U always told me that u werent gonna be here forever and I just paid that no mind cuse i thought u were gonna be here. Now I know betta. Well i have to end this cuse my emotions are all over the place right now. I love you and miss you forever. You son

D

RIP I miss and love you always.

liars

Ok I have a problem and i know everyone is gonna feel what i am about to say. I have been talking to this dude. He was real cool. Very nice dude well I thought he was. We have been talking about 3 months we met spent some time together and chilled. He kept asking me to be his man and i kept saying no and he kept asking me why and i told him cuse i am not ready. Well today the real answer came to mind. Him and i both are on yahoo. Well for the past week I have been coming online but being invisible. I find doing that u can catch a mofo in the act. Well the same dude i said no to about being his bf already has a bf of 7 months. I am like this is why i told him no in the beginning cuse my heart already knew something was going on. My heart never lies to me. I sometimes feel like i am at the circus with all the clowns that i meet.


I took out the time to evaluate myself to see if it was me. Yes some of it is me cuse i dont give dudes a chance by why should i give a clown a chance. I wont settle for less than anyone. I have high respects for myself and i expect the same. I will never be second to anyone but GOD. And no dude out here is god. So WTF. Yeah I am very understanding person. I give the person the benefit of the doubt. But after awhile that gets old. I will be 38 in less than 4 months and I am tried of being single but i wont just date anyone cuse i am tried of being single.


I have come to the conclusion that mos dudes online are just full of SHIT. Not all just 99.9%.


Can one dude keep one attention for more than 10 seconds and not be a liar a user or act like they come from the circus.

flunkies

Yo my weekend was boring like all the rest. I meet this dude online on saturday. First of all I was like why i am meeting this dude when I know for a fact he aint what i want. I set myself up for this one.

I have been talking to this dude online for awhile. He seem so nice online til it was up to the time I was to meet him. He started asking me questions like what would u do if I didnt look the same as my pic. I was like what do u mean and he would ask the question back. I said i take it on a case by case bases but i dont like to be deceived. Well I meet up with dude out at wheaton mall on saturday night. I was expecting what I saw in the pic. Well of course like the others i was deceived again. I even asked homie to send me a pic again so when we met up i would know it was him. Well why did some dude that wasnt in the pic come up the me. I backed off when he called my name. He yelled out loud yo JD. I was like wow. I said sup. I had so many things racing through my mind. first of all homie lied about what he look like. Some short fat dude came up to me. I was like who are you. When he told me his name i had this look of another liar who wasted my time online again. I was like aight. He goes whats wrong and i was like u dont want me to answer that right now. And he was like so sup. I was like well another loser who lied to me and wasted my time. He said to me well u wouldnt have met me if i told u the truth. And i was like u cant say that cuse u never gave me a chance. He was like well u told me u not into big dudes and i was trying to change your mind. I was like well that aint the way to do it by lying. At that point i was so pissed off. I told him to have a good day and not to hit me up ever again. He goes u just like all the rest of the fags in dc superficial. I was like no i am not superificial i just dont like to be lied to by anyone. He goes well u should over look this and let it pass. How can i let something like this pass when u lied to me about who u really are. he told me i am still the same person. well if u are i am not gonna find out cuse i hate to be decieved by anyone. so i walked away and hopped back on the train to go home.

Why on my way home this nigga left me a bunch of crazy ass messages. Telling me he is gonna give my number out to all the fat dudes he knows so they will stalk me and come after me. I never called him back. He wrote me nasty ass crazy messages online. I would just erase them then they got out of hand so i put him on my ignore list. As long as I have been on yahoo I never put anyone one my ignore list.

sometimes I wonder to myself why do I meet all these crazy ass mofos. I am one of the most nicest dudes u will ever meet and I get all the bs. i am to old for drama and crazys but they come at me full force.

Another thing sup with all these brothas in this area looking for someone to take care of them. Get a job and take of your damn self. I have found out that a lot of our so called brothas lie cheat and steal and want some dude to take care of them. I get guys hitting on me online all day especially youngins expecting me to pick them up take them out and want someone to just take care of them. I am like do u realize that no one is gonna take care of self but self. I even have found some dudes around my age looking for someone to take care of them. I have been very independent for a very long time since i was in high school and i expect the same. I have been known to be very mean and selfish when it comes to my money cuse of what has happen with me surround this. I have gone out to dinner with dudes and asked for seperate checks which only would piss off a dude who wants a free ride.

I know this dude who has everything material wise and dudes have seen what he has and only wants him for that. Well he meet me and thought i was the same. I told him as such. I dont need a dude for his money or wealth I have my own money. I need a dude who is gonna be my friend and maybe more if we end up there. Him and I are still friends today. He knew where i was coming from and respects me for that. We talk about the losers we meet all the time and just laugh.

Our young blk brothas

I want to talk about something that hit home today. Two the students that I know at the school I work for was exspell today because of drugs. Last week one of your student were suspended because he came to school drunk off his ass. I am like what is going on with our black youth of today. I am one of the realist faculty member they have at the school. Except for the other 3 black males we have working for us. I asked one of my other students about him and the first thing out of the students mouth was everyone is all snitchen. I would never snitch on my homie. I told him your homie. What do u call a homie. A homie nowadays is only there when they need something. So u tellin me that you would go to jail for your homie while your homie is running around free. I alike that would be stupid for u to do that. To ruin the rest of your life for a mistake. He told me yeah cuse he is my homie. I am like the same folks u know now u wont know when u get my age. He was like that is you i know i am still gonna be around the same the folks i am around now. I looked at him and laughed. He is so young. These kids of today just seem to not understand what they do now will effect them later on in life.

Most of the kids are so money hungry cuse of what they see on the tv. I tell them material things dont make you as a person. Just as fast as you get them as fast as they can be taken away. They see these so called rappers and tv stars and dont realize that it took alot of work for them to get that status. They should look at Mike Vick and T.I and see what has happen to them. They think going to jail will make u someone. Yeah it will make you someone alright the niggas bitch while you in jail and your new name will be a number. U cant do what u want to do u have to listen to other folks tell you what to do all day. No freedom. U cant watch tv when u want u cant stay up or roam the earth. You are behind bars 23 hours a day. A small ass cell with a cellmate who u may like or may not. The social aspects of jail is when u go u become famous when u come out. I dont want that social status on me. Once u get it u will have it for life and i wont be taken away. They will judge u on that. Even if u change your life and become and good person someone is always gonna judge you for being in jail.

Our blk brothas need betta role models than rappers. Where are all blk entrepreneur's at; and I dont mean the dudes standing on the corner either. I always said god put me here for a reason to show these kids that being a young blk man you can succeed.

Why am I single

I have been thinking a lot lately why I can't find a dude to be with. I know I am very picky. I have met dudes online and the dudes I meet are just so lame, or the lie, or just plain not my type.

So I sat down this weekend and wrote down what my type is.

1. Masculine
2. Goal oriented
3. Not materialistic
4. Understanding
5. Truthful/honest
6. Open minded
7. Caring
8. Can cook
9. Independent
10. Common ground
11. Sports fans

Now that I wrote that I also wrote down the dudes that I meet.

1. Dudes that base love on what you have material wise
2. Fem
3. Serial Daters (Yeah Los I am using your word) lol
4. Users
5. Crazies
6. Have nothing in common with
7. Stalker
8. Lame ones

I took both list side by and side and then I evalutored myself and see where I fit into the mix. I learned that I know i wont get all the top 11 things I am asking for but can I at least get 5. LOL I dont know where to go meet guys at. I seem to have more in common with straight dudes than gay dudes but there is on way I am gonna be with a straight dude. He wouldnt be straight if he was with me. For some reason in this area it is hard to settle down and be with one dude. I have tried everything and guys assume alot about me without evening knowing me. The same dudes I try to holla at when I go out the club which is hardly are the same dudes that shot me down. But when they see me online those same dudes come at me. I am gonna put this out there and i really dont care. But i am a masculine bottom. Mos dude look at me and think I am a top til I tell them different. I shouldnt have to tell a dude when I meet him on the street ohh by the way I am a bottom so they will holla back. But those same dudes when they do find out are all up in my face but they only want some ass so I put them on my DNC list (do not contact). LOL Mos dudes in dc are all about sex. I know i have had my share of one night stands, but i finally grew up and decided I wanted more.

I have 2 homies in my life and both of them say i dont give guys chances. Well how many chances should I give a dude before he gets it right. I have this attitude of I dont need you. I get that from all the hurt and pain I have had in my life. I am very strong willed independent guy and some guys cant deal with that part of me. I know what i want and to guys that shows a sign of he is aint weak so I cant get my way with him. Meaning they want a dude to run all over and that aint me at all. My boys be telling me sometimes i have to give up the control. Well I have done that and all I got was hurt. So know I just hold my head up and keep on moving on. I try not to let the single life get me down but it gets lonely sometimes when i go to bed at night. But that is life so I take it with a grain of salt and move on.

My weekend was da bomb

Wow what a weekend. I was a lil upset friday after all the things that went down between my supposely new job and my old job, but i dont want to talk about that cuse everytime i think about it i have to take a deep breath and pray to god. Well my homie Los went out to halo on friday night and asked me to meet him down there. I have only been to halo one other time and that was for happy hour and it was aight. I decided to get out and not stay home and be depressed. So i got dressed and decided to take an adventure. Well I took the metro down there and was aight. I got off the bus and was walking down the street and all i saw was gay dudes all over the place on 14th street. I am like damn is there a gay convention going on somewhere. As i was walking down the street i had some queens pass me checkin me out. I continued on my way. I finally go to halo. When I walked in I was like damn wall to wall brothas. I was making my way through the crowd and brothas were all up in my face say sup and going ohh honie child there usually queen things which i dont like. So i finally got to the back of the crowd and saw Los. I was so happy to see him. I met all the dudes he hangs out with and that he has talked to me about. And they all were nice. I figured i was gonna get attitude but none of them was like that. So as the night progressed I just watched the faggies do there things. I just stood there and only talked to los. I am not to much of a mingler. I usually just stay to myself til someone with intelligents say something of interest. All of los's friends were enjoying themselves and of course I wasnt. The one thing i hate are protentious and stuck up fags and most of the dudes there were. A bunch of gym rats and judgemental homos. I had guys node at me trying to get up and trust me i paid them no attention.

I dont like fem dudes. For some reason they think cuse i am 6'6" tall I am gonna want some sissy on my arm. That is a NO!!! I am a gay man who likes other MEN not men who want or act like a sissy. Masculinity is a must not a plus. U feel me?

Well after the bar los and i left and went to go get something to eat and chill out. He is like one of my only 2 friends that i hang out with. Yeah I chill with very small crowds not one to have folks all up in my bizness.

Well saturday came and I had a good ass time. I have been talked to this dude for a minute. He invited me over to his house. I brought a case of Henikens, 360 controller, and he had the 420. Yeah I bought a 360 about 3 weeks ago and I cant stop playing it. Well he cooked me dinner, we chilled out and played 360 all night long. He beat me in madden 07 and 08 twice once i got the hang of it i was kicking his ass. lol We also played saint rows which is my favorite game and some other games. I was there til like 4 am. Luckily he lives on the Capitol Hill like me so I had my ipod on and walked home. I got home and crashed. Well I called him first to let him know I got home safely. He wanted me to stay the night but i didnt like that idea especially not knowing him like that. Well on sunday he called me and asked what i was doing i told him i am about to start cooking dinner. He was like damn I dont even get an invite. I started laughin and said i was gonna call u to see sup. He was playing video games and chillin. He came over we watched the redskins game. I was rooting for the NYG to whip the skins and they did in the end and i wouldnt let him forget it. lol Well he stayed for most of the night we watched desperate housewives one of my favorite shows and watched family guy the open season which was off the hook. He left around midnight and we were standing on the front and he gave me a kiss. I was so shy and was like well i c sup. He smiled and called me once he got home and we talked til I fell asleep. He is a nice guy but i told him that we should only be friends for right now. I am very much attracted to him, but he told me he is moving to ATL in 2 months. I told him i wont get that close since you are moving and he was a lil upset and didnt understand why. And i told him my reason and he understood so i know have a new cool 360 friend. lol

I need a prayer

Man my day was not so good. I was late to work. Left early cuse of family stuff. Well what i thought was family stuff. I found out my nephew has to have his eye operated on. I am so worried about him. He has juvnile diabetes so sometimes it will effect your eyes. I hope he doesnt go blind. Well if he does i will be there every step of the way. I saw this woman yesterday who was blind and she had her cane but couldnt get of the gate. Uknow no one helped her out at all i was on my way out of the gate and i proceeded to help her while other folks just stood there and stopped. Sup wit people now a days. They look but wont help. I felt so bad for her. If that was to happen to me i would feel so helpless not like i feel that way now sometimes.

I went and got my supposed letter today and it wasnt what i expected. I should just learn by now never expect anything cuse what u expect never comes like it is suppose to. Man I need god right now. The devil is always around trying to start shit. He is always waiting to lash out on me. Man I need a prayer and so does my lil man. I love you john u know i got your back.

Another day

Here I am at work thinking bout my new job. Man I cant wait to start. It is like a something that i have always wanted and cant wait to start. I have been trying to close out stuff so when i leave i wont have much to do. I told a few people today that i have a new job and they were a lil upset cuse i was leaving. One person told me money isnt everything. And of course it was a europen who is a high up who makes 6 figures. And my respond was of course money isnt everything but why should i stay in the same position not making what i am worth. They asked how much I was making and said well u know the more money you make the more problems you have. And i was like what problems do u have cuse i know u make 6 figures. I also told them that i am trying to buy a house and i cant afford to do that making the money i make here i would have to take a second job. they said well u should do that cuse we really need you here. I was like if yal really needed me here then you guy would have paid me what i am worth since i am so needed. And of course it always come back to that same ole thing we dont have it in the budget. And my response was well that is why you losing me cuse of the budget have a nice day.

Folks just dont understand that you need more to survive if u dont have u are always gonna be the last and i refuse to be last. God has granted me the opportunity of a life time and i refuse to let it go by. It seems like everyone I know is being blessed this week. I tell folks all the time the power of god can do wonders only if u believe.

God has blessed me

Wow is all i can say right now. I was on my way home yesterday when I got the phone call that changed my life today. I got a new job. Hurray!!! About 2-3 weeks ago I went to this job fair in dc. I went into work late just to see sup. As i was walking round looking at all the folks and jobs they had to offer nothing really caught my eye except for 2 places. Well both of those places were job placements agencies. So as I continued walking around see other places and picking up applications for my brotha I came across this one spot. I asked if they had any IT jobs available.
The woman at the booth as what experience I had as I reached out to hand her one of my resumes. I told her i had experience in web development and databases. That day at the job fair i talked to 3 people and they were very impressed with me. About 2 weeks after that I received a phone call to come in for an interview. I went in for my interview and after that I didnt think anything of it til yesterday when they call to offer me the job. I had tears of joy coming down my face. I thanked god as always. If it wasnt for him I wouldnt be where I am today. I just have one problem how do I tell my boss that I am leaving. I love her so much she is like a mom to me. But other than that I am happy happy and more happy.

I feel like a slave

Man another day at work. Sometimes I wish i had a million dollars cuse i would tell them to kiss my you know what. I have never been at a place where they over work u under pay you and expect you to work for free. Com on now who works for free. All the high ups want you to work over time but not pay you while they sit at home on the weekend with there families. Dont you think i want to do the same. Man life is crazy. My mom use to tell me that life is gonna be hard for a blk man like you and i never knew why. I would ask her why and she said when you get older you shall see. She would tell me how smart i was and folks will use that to there advantage. I would be like yah right mom stop playing now i have to eat my words. I ask god everyday for strength to deal wit the crap that i deal with here. A bunch of unappreciate europeans. And when i say europeans you know what i am talking bout. Well back to be slave. lata