Dear Mom

If u were only here to see me now. I miss you so much. I have so much on mind that I havent told anyone in 4 years. After you left life just hasnt been the same. I have no one to tell all my darkest secrets to. No one to tell all my problems to, no one to give me mom advice. Why did you have to leave? I wanted you to fight to live so you can see how much I have grown, but now all i have is all this hate in my heart lately. I look up at the sky and cry and hoping u can see all the tears that i flooded my soul with. Not a second goes by that I dont thik about you. If u were here right now I would tell you all on my mind all the things that I am so afraid to tell anyone else. U know I have trust issues and I u were the only person I trusted. I always knew that u would never tell anyone the things that i would tell you.

U know I am still single mom and you told me i would be but to hold on cuse someone is gonna come your way. U always told me to hold my head up high but days like this it is so hard with out u here. My job is fustrating, my love life sucks, and all my thoughts are so build up in my mind that they now have spilled over to my heart. That is about filled up now it is running into my soul. Who can i talk to about all the things i have going on. When you left you should have given me someone to trust. I am sitting here crying now as I write you this letter. I dont know how much longer I can hide my identity til I burst.

Sha is doing fine, I know u always told me i can talk to her about anything but i dont want to put the weight of my thoughts on to her. I need you here with me. I know i am being selfish cuse god needs angels, but u were my angel that god took away. U know there are so many days that I dont want to get out bed. I hold this smile on my face that is only a facade. If i could show my true self then i wouldnt be in control anymore and u know how i like to be in control of self. I think would have been betta if i had someone to lean on someone i could trust someone who was understanding the way u were. I didnt even get a chance to tell you good bye or see you lata. U never gave me that chance. U always told me that u werent gonna be here forever and I just paid that no mind cuse i thought u were gonna be here. Now I know betta. Well i have to end this cuse my emotions are all over the place right now. I love you and miss you forever. You son

D

RIP I miss and love you always.